Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Superpowers

I had my physical today. Wee. Not too much poking and proding - apparently I am still "young" (note appropriate use of quotations to imply irony regarding the term young). However we did have a conversation about my lack of smell (being a comment on the functioning of my nose, not a comment on the odor of my body). I have always though of this as a disability: we have 7 senses, losing an entire sense would seem to me somewhat disabling. However there doesn't seem to be any special treatment for this particularly disability since it really isn't all that dis-abling. In fact, and in light of my current role as Manager of Outputs for Matthew, it is actually somewhat a plus. I would go so far as to say that I have a distinct advantage over most other humans - you could even classify this as a superpower. Granted, not particularly flashy, and I can't really use it to fight crime, or save the planet or anything, but I tell ya, I am completely impervious to diaper smell. I can stick my head in that bucket-o-dirty-diapers and breathe deeply with no effect whatsoever. I can change a babies diaper with stank so nasty it makes normal mortals recoil and gag uncontrollably. Me: nothin'. Zip. Nada. I can change that diaper as if it smelled like a grassy meadow after the dew - which I imagine would smell lovely, although I admit to having to frame of reference. Maybe it smells like diaper. You get my point. It sometimes takes a while for people to fully understand the power they have. I am beginning to understand mine. And I promise you oh internet, that I will only my power of no-smell for good.

2 comments:

Russ said...

I have been asked to pass on the kryptonite to your power. Not noticing a poopy diaper in time can cause blow-ups (when the poop crawls up and out of the back of the diaper).

Please consider a strategy for both your own and Matthew's sake.

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